2019 and Clean Slates

I was talking to my daughter the other day, who by the way is going through her first break up. They were together 3 years. The little success he is having in his career, seems to have gone to his head. He has cast her aside despite the unwavering support she has given him. Little…

Shattered

The life she nourished and cherished, Had been shattered into a million little pieces. For so long, She had been holding on  To all her broken parts, Hoping to put them all back the way they were. She didn’t know where to start, As some where missing and some had been destroyed. She sat amongst…

I love you!

So here we are in present day…the story of multiple D-days all played out.  What has happened from that time forward?  If you read from the very beginning you can see the progression from sadness to hopefulness to angry to resentful to thoughtfulness to angry to forgiveness back to sadness, etc.  What I’m trying to…

20/20

The days that followed were silent but definitely not calm.  There was a palatable anxiousness that just sat on the surface of our day.  I didn’t put demands on him like sleeping downstairs, access to his phone or computer, or even kicking him out.  I was done with trying to control the situation and I…

What Was Left

Did his new found behavior last?  No, sadly it did not.  He had me so confused and gaslighted, that I didn’t know where his lies stopped and reality began.  Again and again, hit by wave by pounding wave of his betrayals and trickle truths.  I was clinging on so tight to something that couldn’t be…

The Saga Continues

His affair with “A” was an after thought, even though when I think about it now, it infuriates me.  How cutting and manipulative he was.  I was at home with 2 babies, tired, alone, in need of his attention, love, and support.  He was absent, uninvolved, and critical.  His affair with “A” was where he…

Starbucks Ruiner

Sleep eluded me that night.  I tossed and turned, tried to get some beauty sleep so he could see what he was missing!  That didn’t happen.  I woke up, tried to cover the dark circles under my eyes, but to no avail.  The sleepless nights definitely caught up with me and would definitely expose my…

What’s In That Bag?

That tote bag!  Hidden in the back of the closet and tormenting me like a monster ready to jump out and attack.  It took me a few days to get up the nerve to even look at it.  Finally…I dug it out from it’s hiding place. I had to make sure the kids were gone…

The Smoking Gun

Did he fight for us?  Sadly, he did not.  The next few years were lonely.  He pleaded and promised, but with no action behind it.  His words had proven to be futile and empty.  Within the next few years I found a couple of Lynn’s checks, with the “Pay To” line made out to the…

Rachael To The Rescue

My husband kept to his promise to take care of things, in the loosest of meanings.  He took care of losing our house, putting us in financial ruin, and destroying the trust I had in him.  He did however run to Rachel, his long time friend from college and told her about EVERYTHING!  (If you…

Dirty Little Secrets

I do have to back up a bit.  My husband is a spender.  He spends a lot!  He loves to shop and he likes that we have the best.  That never was super important to me, but in time I did learn to love the finer things.  The problem with that is you need a…

D-Day #2

The next 5 years he seemed like he was on his best behavior.  We started to attend church more regularly.  He accepted Christ into his heart, and I started to see a visible change.  He belonged to a men’s bible study group and I began singing on a worship team.   I felt so blessed…